Pastor tells woman to avoid blind-date match after invasive questioning

A 26-year-old woman has written to Pastor for advice after a blind date set up by two girlfriends left her shaken and unwilling to see the man again.

The writer, signing as V., said she had no partner at the time, so her friends stepped in. They knew a man who was eager to meet her and, with her permission, shared her phone number. A date was arranged soon after.

When he called, she told him that because they were going out for the first time, she wanted a very public venue. He asked where she had in mind, and she said a restaurant would be fine. He then suggested a club, but she declined, explaining that she does not go to clubs and does not drink. He also proposed Port Royal, which she turned down because she does not like fish. They eventually agreed on a spot where they could meet and talk.

V. said the man talked a lot and seemed intent on learning everything about her — her background, her education, and even how many men she had been with. She told Pastor she was surprised by such personal questions and refused to answer some of them. He said her friends had told him not to be afraid of her, but after meeting her, he felt they did not know her very well.

At one point, she said, he asked what position she liked in bed. She became so uncomfortable that she threatened to leave the restaurant and call a taxi. When he saw she was serious, he stopped the embarrassing questioning. She described the outing as the worst date she had ever had and said she did not want to see him again.

After he dropped her home, he called to apologise and asked for another date. She refused.

V. asked Pastor whether she had done the right thing.

In his response, Pastor urged her not to go anywhere else with the man, saying he was neither a good man nor a smart one. He said her girlfriends meant well but had chosen the wrong match. Pastor also reminded her that not all men behave that way and encouraged her not to give up on men because of the foolish questions this one had put to her.