Married man admits to admiring pretty women, draws warning from Pastor

Dear Pastor, I am a married man who is also trying to walk as a Christian, but I keep finding myself lusting after women. My wife insists that I cannot be a genuine Christian while behaving this way.

I want to be clear that I do not lust after married women. The ones who catch my eye are mostly single. I admire how they dress and how they carry themselves in conversation, but it is not because I want to take any of them to bed. I simply appreciate a woman who puts herself together well and looks sexy.

On a few occasions while driving out with my wife, I have noticed attractive young women and let my attention drift from the road. My wife became furious one time, grabbed the steering wheel, and asked me whether I had forgotten that she was sitting right beside me. I told her I had not done anything wrong, but she said she saw me staring.

Is it a sin to look at beauty? My wife cannot honestly claim that I have ever been with any of these women. The only thing I am guilty of is admiring them. She tells me I should be satisfied with what I have at home, and she points out that I would not be pleased if she began admiring other men and speaking about them the way I speak about these girls.

My own wife is a very beautiful woman, so she has no reason to worry that anyone will take me away from her. Yet whenever a woman gets too close to me at church, she leaves wherever she is standing and positions herself right in front of me or beside me. At times her behaviour leaves me embarrassed. I would appreciate a word from you. G.N.

Dear G.N., There is a clear difference between love and lust. Love carries no evil desire and does not scheme to do anything wrong. Lust, on the other hand, is a temptation of the flesh, driven by a desire that is evil and capable of destroying another person or someone else's relationship.

Lust chases after a person with wicked or fleshly intent. It has brought many great men and women to their knees, ruining careers and reputations in society. Lust says, "I am going to get you. I am going to pursue you regardless of the cost." Very often when men claim they are in love, they are not in love at all; they are simply lusting after someone.

Your wife understands that lusting after women can land you in serious trouble. Try your best to keep your mind on the road and off other women. She is only trying to help you by warning you to be wise, because she wants you to fight the flesh. Do not get upset with her when she speaks to you about your conduct. Pastor